No Rest for the Weary
My MM has always been a good sleeper. By four weeks she was sleeping 9+ hour stretches at night. She was still taking four naps a day when she was a year old. Just last week (18.5 months) she was sleeping 12-13 hours at night and taking two naps for a total of 3 hours.
Her schedule was like clockwork. It was a beautiful and glorious thing.
This past week?
OH.MY.LORD.
I honestly have no idea what happened. It’s horrible. I can honestly say it’s been the hardest thing about motherhood I’ve had to deal with yet.
It started off with her dropping her morning nap. Okay, I get that most 18-month olds only have one nap. That’s fine.
Then it turned into not wanting to nap in her crib for the second nap. So I’d rock her or wait ’til she got really sleep (and then she’d scream as soon as her head hit the pillow}.
Then it turned into her not wanting to go to bed at 7:30. Bedtime got pushed back to 8:30. Then 9. Then 9:30. Then last night it was 11:15.
I went from having a baby that got 18 hours of sleep a day to one that now gets 10.5 hours if we’re lucky. That is a lot of lost sleep!
I have no idea what to do. I’ve tried rocking. And shooshing. And letting her cry it out. I’ve tried blankies. Books. Dolls.
Please help. Please.
Do children’s sleep patterns really change that much when they’re a year-and-a-half? Is this a sign she doesn’t like her crib and I need to convert it to a toddler bed or put together her big girl bed?? Is she sick? Scared?
What do you think?
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12 Responses to “No Rest for the Weary”
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That is a hard thing- for Mommy too! My kids stopped all naps- read that- ALL- at 2. Both of them. Stick with routine. Keep aiming for a 7:30 bedtime and then get up at a consistent time. Routine will keep everyone sane. Don’t sweat the naps but do give her a lot of run-around time in the morning so that she may want to nap. She’s so cute!
Could she be teething? Molars maybe? My Jae has been a good sleeper for the most part too, but she has times when she decides that she doesn’t need it as much. Teething is usually her culprit. She’s now getting her 2 year old molars.
You’ll make it!
Their habits certainly do change and I’m sure it’s hard on her too. Hang in there and just try to read her cues. It’s probably a combination of a lesser need of sleep and becoming more independent and exploring her limits. She’ll most likely fall back into a routine for you and you’ll survive, I promise. If not, then you may need to do a few minor sleep training days and nights to get her back on track. No one tells you about this stuff, huh, Momma?
Oh yes – I did increase Jae’s morning activities in an effort to wear her out around that age.
Wow, girl! You poor things! We’ve definitely gone through our share of “sleep interruption” stages with Haylee (right now we’re at “she can’t go to bed unless one of us is up in the living room until she falls asleep”…we still can’t figure that one out). We’ve had times when we would lay down with her until she fell asleep. We went through a short stint of waking in the middle of the night to find her standing next to our bed crying until we let her in the bed with us then daddy would carry her back to her own. Anyway, you name it, we’ve probably been there!
If it were me, I would start by making sure there wasn’t an ear infection trying to make itself known (since it sometimes can hurt worse when laying down…had our share of ear issues, too!). Just to make sure, you can take her to the doctor and discuss the issues with them. They would be more of an expert than I would be!
If you find that an ear infection or something else isn’t the problem or you just want to try that route last, then I’d try changing the routine a little. Since she is getting older, she may only NEED a good middle of the day nap. I remember when Haylee moved from the infant room to the toddler room in her daycare at about MM’s age, they only got one nap and then she would go to sleep earlier in the evening. They’re much more active at this stage and there’s way too much to explore and they might miss something if they’re asleep!
Haylee also went from crib to cot in the daycare, so you could try the toddler bed. After lunch, if she has a favorite book or two, even if you’ve already read them 500 times each, maybe try reading them AWAY from her bedroom until she grows sleepy (yawning, rubbing eyes…all that good stuff). Put on some lullaby/instrumental music (there is a wonderful “Disney Lullabies” CD out there that Haylee used to LOVE at about MM’s age) as she lays down…you might even try patting or rubbing her back until she settles down and goes to sleep. At night, you can try this with her after her bath (Johnson’s Lavender body wash is great for relaxation!! I used to love bathing Haylee in that stuff and I’d be just as relaxed as she was!) Just make it as relaxing and calming for both of you and make this a special time together.
Also remember that you’ve been back at work this week! Her little routine from the summer has changed, too. She’s used to having you 24/7 and now it’s gone back to “hey, where’s my mommy?” in her mind, so she doesn’t want to miss a minute of your time in the evenings. It will be nice doing part time, so she’ll definitely get to see more of you this year than last year. Now’s a good time to set some new routines for all of you, so you can make the most of your time together instead of having to fight with her to sleep. That’s no fun for either of you!
Maybe these suggestions will help…every child is so different, you never know! You’re such a fantabulous mommy, though, I’m sure you’ll figure this one out very soon!
Yes, I forgot about the teething…that could be a factor, too. Molars are the worst!
All I can say is let me know what you do..lol. Im dealing with an 8 month old that really must hate sleep casue she just wont. This is my 3rd child and I am at a loss with her. Will not take 1 nap..let alone 2. Goes to bed when she wants..then rght back up in a couple hours. Have done everything I did with the other two. Nothing. My older 2 kids have ALWAYS been in a routine..still are..eat by 6, then bath, then bed. No problems..some days my 6 year old will just get up and say im taking a shower and going to bed. Guess I dont get that lucky with Mollie. But I am still trying..we are sticking with our routine and maybe one day it will work. Good luck!!
Can’t help but throw my 2 cents in…my third daughter has been my best sleeper, but the craziest, too. Just when I thought she was ready to give up her one nap, she ended up sleeping longer at night AND keeping the nap. It seems when they get less sleep, they need less and when they get more, the sleep more. We have gone through weeks of very little sleep and then she will settle back into the new pattern–whatever it is. It is always hardest when she is making a change like going from 2 naps to 1. I “made” her take a nap or lay in her room and, of course, she fell asleep. We took away the pacifier except at nap and bed time and it worked like magic. She loves that thing and I don’t mind it when she has it in her own room! I am also a big believer in consistent routines which it sounds like you have–stick with it and she will give in I bet. It sounds to me like your little cutie has gotten old enough to try to test the boundaries and now you have to stick to your guns. Most books/doctors give a range of sleep your children need at various ages and I truly believe that most kids need more than they are getting. It sounds like you have a good sleeper (well, she certainly was!) and she probably needs more sleep not less. Be consistent, hang in there, and we all feel for you!
Hey Nat! She might be getting sick or teething (2 year molars). I know my kids won’t sleep right when they are getting an ear infection. If that is not it – then try to toddler bed…I just switched Cole and he LOVES it!
I obviously have no experience or clue here, but I’ve heard great things from multiple moms about the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It was the one book I heard great things about from EVERYONE who read it. It’s supposed to cover different sleep issues through adolescence. I bought it from Amazon but haven’t even looked at it yet. Maybe it would be worth seeing if the library has it in stock. Good luck!!!!
I’m sure it is a phase. Hang in there. Just be consistent and continue to put her down in the afternoons. I think she is pretty young to need a toddler bed, etc. My peditritian has said from the beginning that she thinks the half years are a really hard, transitional time. She’s hit the nail on the head for Charlotte, 6 months, 18 months, 30 months have all been met with some sort of change.
Oh, Nat. Let me tell you that sleep is the one issue that has always caused me to question my skills as a mom. I feel like just when we have it down good then we hit another transition. I swear Marshall does the best when he is on a very strict routine. If we go on vacation, he gets sick, teething, etc. it throws us off and take at least a full week to get back on board. The best “fix” I have found is the Sleep Lady Shuffle. We are actually doing it again right now. Google it and give it a try. It may work for MM too!
I’ll second the “Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child” book. It saved me when my 8 month old (at the time) daughter decided she never needed naps, and because the most unpleasant child on the planet. I was desperate to get my sweet baby back, and the book really helped. It wasn’t always easy to do what the author said, in fact I remember my mom talking me through a rough afternoon on the phone so I wouldn’t cave and go in her room, but it worked. She became a wonderful sleeper and I got my sweet girl back. It was a real eye-opener, too, with my older son. I thought he was getting pleny of sleep, but when they pointed out how much a 5 year old actually needed we did some schedule adjusting. It was also a handy book to have around when other sleep bumps occured, too, especially night terrors. It made me feel more prepared because those things can really scare you.
I hope little Miss MM starts sleeping again. I’ve soooooo been there and it’s not fun. Mommies need sleep, too!